A Mid-Morning’s Roll
I’ve been trying to write the events of the other day, how we all came to be walking around campus waiting for Mick to finishing pissing on a reserved parking sign while teachers and students walked by and we kept laughing because of the absurdity it was to be in that situation on molly at nine in the morning. But I keep running into roadblocks, thoughtblocks, whatever. I can’t sort out the events as they happened in order and that’s only served as an obstacle to over-coming this ‘writer’s block’. I thought writing about our mid-morning stroll while rolling on molly would serve the perfect catalyst of a story to hurl me over the writer’s block, but it hasn’t worked. When I got off work the day of the trip I was too exhausted and slept straight until work the next day. I was going to write as soon as I got off of work but I couldn’t, too worn out from the trip so I decided to save it for tomorrow. Tomorrow came and instead of writing I slept all day in bed again. I woke later than I’d plan, rolled around and fell back to sleep, woke up and showered, ate breakfast, was still tired and went back to sleep, and instead of writing anything I slept all the way till 10 p.m. when I had to go in to work. So then at 4:30 when I got back I chilled out for an hour and half then gave writing a shot. The shot didn’t leave the barrel, or else shot into my foot. I got stuck and depressed and now I’m lonely and I hate having this nocturnal schedule, things need to change. i can’t stay nocturnal it’s fucking driving me crazy. I can’t write, I don’t sleep regularly, I never see anyone outside of work, I don’t have friends I can regularly hangout with and I hardly even see my roommate at that. I’m lonely still, in need of friends!! The other morning rolling with everyone was amazing, if only because it showed me how much I need other people, I can’t live this alone, and to be able to feel the flow one needs friends with whom to be open and excited about life with. I want to bash my head in.